JoHoTo #8 Show Versus Tell
If you've ever had your work critiqued (or plan on having your work critiqued), there's a 99.5% chance you'll hear the words, "Show, don't tell."
You'll nod and smile at the critiquer and then later ask all your writer friends what this means.
Quite simply, "Show, don't tell" refers to your method of narration.
"Showing" means you're...well, showing the audience what's happening. You're using vivid words to paint a picture for the reader, so they can
experience the story themselves.
"Telling" means you're stating, almost as fact, what's happening. Like reading a newspaper. It doesn't get the reader as involved.
Telling DOES have its usefulness in getting through segues quickly to get to the important part of your story. For example, you don't have to SHOW a
character getting on a plane if nothing important happens. You can just say "Beth got on the plane and slept all the way to Paris". Obviously not that
brief, but you get the point.
However, when you're trying to build up emotion in a scene, you MUST show us what's happening. We need to see Beth collapse in tears when she meets
her boyfriend at the gate, hugging him close and drawing every ounce of strength she can to replace what she lost back home.
Othewise, we get the Blah Daily News:
Beth got off the plane and was very sad, so she hugged her boyfriend.
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Signs you're telling instead of showing and ways to correct:
1. Overuse of emotion adverbs (sadly, happily, worriedly, etc)
Example: "That's not fair!" John said angrily.
Instead, try:
"That's not fair!" John slammed his fist against the table.
Please note: There are times when adverbs are fine. BUT if you're finding a lot of "very" and "ly" usage, look and see where you can do a little
more showing.
2. Blatant statement of emotion (X was Y)
Example: Sally was terrified, walking through the woods alone.
Instead, try:
Sally cowered against the darkness, walking through the woods alone.
3. Vague descriptions (bad, good, nice)
Example: The pizza tasted bad.
Instead, try:
The pizza tasted as if the chef had graduated from the Play-Doh Cooking School.
4. Weak verbs (did, ran, went, etc.)
Example: Sally ran from the monster.
Instead, try:
Dirt and grass flew from beneath her feet as Sally struggled to outpace the monster.
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Usually, the best way to "show" is by action and reaction of your characters, metaphors, similes, and clear descriptions.
So...show me something!
Move on to JoHoTo #9!
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